A VC firm leverages a single SpaceX investment into a blank check for growth-stage saturation.
Read full article →Nothing says 'confident market position' like artificial scarcity and artificial intelligence.
Read full article →When your fundraise moves faster than due diligence, investors should probably ask why.
Read full article →Claude's maker achieves unicorn status by competing against free ChatGPT while burning cash at venture-approved velocity.
Read full article →The company is asking investors to commit within 48 hours to a valuation that assumes profitability is merely a suggestion.
Read full article →The startup has discovered a revolutionary pricing strategy: charge based on what OpenAI's board meetings probably cost.
Read full article →Nvidia, Microsoft, and Amazon are expanding classified military AI systems despite multiple groups flagging the existential risks of automating lethal judgment calls.
Read full article →OpenAI and Anthropic discover that briefing lawmakers behind closed doors about existential cyber threats is excellent regulatory capture strategy.
Read full article →JPMorgan's CEO issues apocalyptic forecast while his balance sheet whispers: 'Everything is fine.'
Read full article →Peak Bay Area real estate absurdity achieved: sellers now pricing homes in vaporware derivatives.
Read full article →DumbCapital covers venture capital and M&A in North America with the skepticism these markets have long deserved and rarely received. We are not impressed by large numbers. We are not moved by press releases. All articles are satirical commentary based on real, publicly reported deals. Nothing here is financial advice.