After three decades of fiscal stimulus cosplay, lenders remember that money isn't actually free.
Read full article →A $3B valuation for physical logistics, the one thing Amazon actually invented.
Read full article →America's last unprofitable form of community organizing finally meets its venture-backed replacement.
Read full article →When you're out of GPU inventory and out of patience, apparently SpaceX's asking price suddenly seems reasonable.
Read full article →The $60B AI chip IPO that almost died is Silicon Valley's ultimate vindication of the 'bleed until belief' investment thesis.
Read full article →A company that hasn't gone public yet is already reshaping finance through the sheer force of existing.
Read full article →CEO admits the novelty has worn off while publicly betting the company's future on a pivot only she understands.
Read full article →A* Capital's third fund proves that founding a unicorn corpse is sufficient credential to raise billions without demonstrating returns.
Read full article →When the clock starts ticking, fundament analysis stops thinking.
Read full article →Immigration crackdowns don't create jobs for U.S. workers—they just make founders angrier at policy.
Read full article →DumbCapital covers venture capital and M&A in North America with the skepticism these markets have long deserved and rarely received. We are not impressed by large numbers. We are not moved by press releases. All articles are satirical commentary based on real, publicly reported deals. Nothing here is financial advice.