Payments processor discovers that branding a Formula E team is the fastest route to irrelevance.
Read full article →When your stock price is so low that even a reverse split can't save the optics, you know the AI story wasn't compelling enough.
Read full article →Appeals court refuses to dismiss thousands of cases arguing that engagement-maximization platforms are, in fact, designed to be addictive.
Read full article →Storage startup announces massive data center deal by deploying every buzzword in the press release simultaneously.
Read full article →MDA Space celebrates revenue jump while strategically omitting whether it's real, profitable, or dependent on government whim.
Read full article →Researchers use AI to design synthetic pathogens, proving that having the capability to do something remains our primary motivation for doing it.
Read full article →Telesat and MDA shares soar on government contracts, proving taxpayers are venture capital's most patient LP.
Read full article →The AI darling's moral stance proved incompatible with being loved by everyone simultaneously.
Read full article →Ryan Williams proves that the third time's the charm—or at least the third time you can still convince investors to fund a niche vertical SaaS product.
Read full article →Amazon's streaming division doubles down on sports rights at precisely the moment cable is collapsing.
Read full article →DumbCapital covers venture capital and M&A in North America with the skepticism these markets have long deserved and rarely received. We are not impressed by large numbers. We are not moved by press releases. All articles are satirical commentary based on real, publicly reported deals. Nothing here is financial advice.