Wall Street's president describes the bank as a 'human assembly line' while insisting the robots will merely 'restructure' the organization—a masterclass in having your layoffs and denying them too.
Read full article →Bradesco BBI celebrates the resurrection of equity capital markets with a single data point and infinite optimism.
Read full article →Wall Street warns of petroleum crisis as venture capital pours billions into solutions that won't arrive in time.
Read full article →Nothing says 'recovery' like rationing electricity during peak consumption, a management strategy perfected over a decade.
Read full article →Immigration crackdowns don't create jobs for U.S. workers—they just make founders angrier at policy.
Read full article →Founders celebrate business models with built-in obsolescence, joking nervously about foundation models eating their lunch.
Read full article →Founders have admitted their entire business model expires the moment a large language model learns to do their job.
Read full article →Nvidia, Microsoft, and Amazon are expanding classified military AI systems despite multiple groups flagging the existential risks of automating lethal judgment calls.
Read full article →The man who wanted to move fast and break things now claims he's civilization's AI conscience.
Read full article →GigCapital7 needs $19.3M in 'non-redemption agreements' to keep the lights on through Hadron Energy closing.
Read full article →DumbCapital covers venture capital and M&A in North America with the skepticism these markets have long deserved and rarely received. We are not impressed by large numbers. We are not moved by press releases. All articles are satirical commentary based on real, publicly reported deals. Nothing here is financial advice.