A16Z LAUNCHES SCHOOL AFTER DROPOUT STRATEGY IMPLODESMORPHOTONICS RAISES €40M ON DISPLAY TECH 'ROADMAP'OURA'S $2.2B IPO: A MASTERCLASS IN FOUNDER EXIT TIMINGTRUMP'S AI FORCE: BUREAUCRACY SOLVES COMPETITIONWSP GRACEFULLY EXITS ARCADIS COURTSHIP AFTER 'CAREFUL CONSIDERATION'BAIN CAPITAL RAISES $1.6B TO FUND COMPANIES THAT DON'T EXIST YETCOMP AI RAISES $34M TO BE 'CONTINUOUSLY AGENTIC' ABOUT COMPLIANCECONGRESS DISCOVERS ELECTRICITY BILLS EXIST, ACTS SHOCKEDA16Z LAUNCHES SCHOOL AFTER DROPOUT STRATEGY IMPLODESMORPHOTONICS RAISES €40M ON DISPLAY TECH 'ROADMAP'OURA'S $2.2B IPO: A MASTERCLASS IN FOUNDER EXIT TIMINGTRUMP'S AI FORCE: BUREAUCRACY SOLVES COMPETITIONWSP GRACEFULLY EXITS ARCADIS COURTSHIP AFTER 'CAREFUL CONSIDERATION'BAIN CAPITAL RAISES $1.6B TO FUND COMPANIES THAT DON'T EXIST YETCOMP AI RAISES $34M TO BE 'CONTINUOUSLY AGENTIC' ABOUT COMPLIANCECONGRESS DISCOVERS ELECTRICITY BILLS EXIST, ACTS SHOCKED
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Opinion

Commentary, analysis, and hot takes on the VC and M&A world. Someone has to say it.

Opinion

Warsh Discovers Prices Can Rise Without Rising, Inflation Solved

Federal Reserve chair masters the art of semantic distinction to avoid admitting obvious economic truths.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Orwellian Doublespeak
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VC

Software Stocks Crater on Realization AI Might Actually Work

Investors suddenly discover that commoditization is bad when it happens to their portfolio.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Technologically Blindsided
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M&A

Musk Rebrands Cursor Acquisition as 'Product Innovation'

SpaceXAI's Grok 4.5 launch is really just Cursor with a new logo and a press release.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Acquisition Theater
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VC

Andreessen-Backed Startup Raises $33M to Trade Compute Like Oil

Ornn's founders have discovered that the solution to AI infrastructure fragmentation is apparently more financial engineering.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Peak Metaphor Fatigue
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VC

Kutcher Pivots From AI Labs to 'Infrastructure' (Crypto Adjacent)

Sound Ventures' concentrated bet strategy gives way to the graveyard of failed energy and infrastructure plays.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Strategically Repositioning Downward
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Opinion

Fed Chair Warsh Discovers Power of Saying Absolutely Nothing

Markets have replaced price discovery with Kevin Warsh fan fiction.

💀💀💀  3/5 — Strategic Inscrutability
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Opinion

Google's Climate Pivot: More Emissions, Same Messaging

The search giant races to build AI infrastructure while its environmental footprint hits record highs—a masterclass in having your carbon cake and eating it too.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Carbon Neutral Theater
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Opinion

Tech Giants Discover Expensive Servers Cost Money, Pass Bill to You

Apple and Microsoft are raising hardware prices because training AI models is apparently someone else's problem to solve.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Passing The Tab
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Opinion

U.S. Discovers China's AI Works Without American Blessing

Washington's alliance pitch crumbles as Beijing's cheap models prove usefulness trumps ideology.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Regulatory Motte-and-Bailey
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VC

TechCrunch Asks Speeders How to Drive Slower

Two AI investors known for moving fast offer wisdom on moving fast, a genre of advice that has never once prevented anything.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Arsonist Fire Safety
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About DumbCapital

DumbCapital covers venture capital and M&A in North America with the skepticism these markets have long deserved and rarely received. We are not impressed by large numbers. We are not moved by press releases. All articles are satirical commentary based on real, publicly reported deals. Nothing here is financial advice.

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