A16Z LAUNCHES SCHOOL AFTER DROPOUT STRATEGY IMPLODESMORPHOTONICS RAISES €40M ON DISPLAY TECH 'ROADMAP'OURA'S $2.2B IPO: A MASTERCLASS IN FOUNDER EXIT TIMINGTRUMP'S AI FORCE: BUREAUCRACY SOLVES COMPETITIONWSP GRACEFULLY EXITS ARCADIS COURTSHIP AFTER 'CAREFUL CONSIDERATION'BAIN CAPITAL RAISES $1.6B TO FUND COMPANIES THAT DON'T EXIST YETCOMP AI RAISES $34M TO BE 'CONTINUOUSLY AGENTIC' ABOUT COMPLIANCECONGRESS DISCOVERS ELECTRICITY BILLS EXIST, ACTS SHOCKEDA16Z LAUNCHES SCHOOL AFTER DROPOUT STRATEGY IMPLODESMORPHOTONICS RAISES €40M ON DISPLAY TECH 'ROADMAP'OURA'S $2.2B IPO: A MASTERCLASS IN FOUNDER EXIT TIMINGTRUMP'S AI FORCE: BUREAUCRACY SOLVES COMPETITIONWSP GRACEFULLY EXITS ARCADIS COURTSHIP AFTER 'CAREFUL CONSIDERATION'BAIN CAPITAL RAISES $1.6B TO FUND COMPANIES THAT DON'T EXIST YETCOMP AI RAISES $34M TO BE 'CONTINUOUSLY AGENTIC' ABOUT COMPLIANCECONGRESS DISCOVERS ELECTRICITY BILLS EXIST, ACTS SHOCKED
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VC Deals

Venture capital funding rounds, startup valuations, and the eternal optimism of people spending other people's money.

VC

AI Startups Discover They're Just Waiting to Die

Founders openly admit their entire business model is a temporal buffer before the inevitable.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Self-Aware Zombies
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VC

Family Offices Skip VCs, Rush Directly Into AI Meat Grinder

Why pay a VC 2% to lose your money when you can do it yourself?

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Peak Greed Cycle
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VC

VCs Beg Anthropic for Privilege of Losing Money at $800B

The market's most desperate suitors keep getting rejected, and somehow this is being treated as good news.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Frothy and Delusional
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About DumbCapital

DumbCapital covers venture capital and M&A in North America with the skepticism these markets have long deserved and rarely received. We are not impressed by large numbers. We are not moved by press releases. All articles are satirical commentary based on real, publicly reported deals. Nothing here is financial advice.

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