A data center company's worth now hinges entirely on a $13 billion Jane Street deal that exists primarily in PowerPoint form.
Read full article →Two AI firms attempt the impossible: convincing investors they'll print money while assuring regulators they won't accidentally end civilization.
Read full article →When you can't decide how much money to throw at problems, throw it all at once.
Read full article →When venture capitalists discover that asking regulators nicely doesn't work, they simply buy airtime to ask voters instead.
Read full article →Music publishers allege one of history's largest IP thefts; AI cheerleaders suddenly develop hearing loss.
Read full article →The software-first firm pivots to 'Machine Age' because everyone else already did.
Read full article →A $3 trillion company discovering that its customers can't afford its products is neither a feature nor a bellwether.
Read full article →Nothing says 'conflict of interest' like two venture capitalists simultaneously shepherding rival data companies toward the same market.
Read full article →Regulatory agencies finally notice that Andreessen Horowitz and friends have been playing musical chairs with startup governance for decades.
Read full article →Struggling fund manager combines two underperforming divisions, raises $35M by betting LPs won't ask uncomfortable questions.
Read full article →DumbCapital covers venture capital and M&A in North America with the skepticism these markets have long deserved and rarely received. We are not impressed by large numbers. We are not moved by press releases. All articles are satirical commentary based on real, publicly reported deals. Nothing here is financial advice.