DIGITAL MARKETING AGENCY DECLARES VICTORY AT FOOD SHOW PARTNERSHIPHELIUM EVOLUTION RAISES $25M; MARKETS REMAIN UNIMPRESSEDHUANG: CHINESE AI GREAT, PLEASE DON'T BAN ITKALANICK RAISES $1.7B ON INDUSTRIAL AI 'GAUZE,' UBER BETS AGAINMENLO'S MURPHY: AI STARTUPS MUST ACHIEVE IMPOSSIBLE GROWTH, LIKE ANTHROPICSPAC HIRES ITSELF TO FIND ITSELF DEALSTESLA DUMPS BILLIONS INTO ROBOTS, ASSURES INVESTORS IT'LL EVENTUALLY WORKTRUMP DEFENDS OPEN AI WHILE ACCUSING CHINA OF STEALING ITDIGITAL MARKETING AGENCY DECLARES VICTORY AT FOOD SHOW PARTNERSHIPHELIUM EVOLUTION RAISES $25M; MARKETS REMAIN UNIMPRESSEDHUANG: CHINESE AI GREAT, PLEASE DON'T BAN ITKALANICK RAISES $1.7B ON INDUSTRIAL AI 'GAUZE,' UBER BETS AGAINMENLO'S MURPHY: AI STARTUPS MUST ACHIEVE IMPOSSIBLE GROWTH, LIKE ANTHROPICSPAC HIRES ITSELF TO FIND ITSELF DEALSTESLA DUMPS BILLIONS INTO ROBOTS, ASSURES INVESTORS IT'LL EVENTUALLY WORKTRUMP DEFENDS OPEN AI WHILE ACCUSING CHINA OF STEALING IT
Est. when term sheets
outnumbered good ideas
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VC Deals

Venture capital funding rounds, startup valuations, and the eternal optimism of people spending other people's money.

VC

Wojcicki Sisters Launch Healthcare AI Fund, Solve Nothing

Two powerful women discover that combining healthcare and AI is actually a viable business model, not a recurring Silicon Valley fever dream.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Peak Demographic Overlap
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VC

AI Startups Discover They're Just Waiting to Die

Founders openly admit their entire business model is a temporal buffer before the inevitable.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Self-Aware Zombies
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VC

Family Offices Skip VCs, Rush Directly Into AI Meat Grinder

Why pay a VC 2% to lose your money when you can do it yourself?

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Peak Greed Cycle
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VC

VCs Beg Anthropic for Privilege of Losing Money at $800B

The market's most desperate suitors keep getting rejected, and somehow this is being treated as good news.

💀💀💀💀  4/5 — Frothy and Delusional
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About DumbCapital

DumbCapital covers venture capital and M&A in North America with the skepticism these markets have long deserved and rarely received. We are not impressed by large numbers. We are not moved by press releases. All articles are satirical commentary based on real, publicly reported deals. Nothing here is financial advice.

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